Please note this article contains adult subject matter and includes some sexual advice and rude words. Please do not read if you think you may be offended.
Ok, so first things first, I want to say a big thank you to all the heroes out there in the NHS and all the other key workers (cleaners, refuse collectors, couriers etc, etc, etc) who are doing an amazing job in the most challenging of circumstances. This article is meant as a light relief and is no way meant to diminish the real problems they are facing on a daily basis.
Being single in normal times can often be a challenge but now (for whatever reason) some people are having to isolate away from their partners and are facing life without the usual intimacy they enjoy in their relationship.
There has been a huge spike in online video dating since the start of the Pandemic and it looks certain to become ever more popular as the weeks of uncertainty continue. I thought it would be a great idea to ask Honey Gold, an Adult performer and ‘Sexpert’ for her advice on how to handle life without a sexual partner under lockdown and how to find peace among all the madness.
Do you have any advice for partners who can’t see each other while they are in isolation?
Absolutely. This time is so important for self-care. Although there is a lot of stress in the world, the stress that you can actually control is negligible. This is the perfect time to video chat with your significant other. Phone sex through FaceTime is awesome so take full advantage of that. You can still dress up, put some lingerie on and jump on screen. You can also take the opportunity to find out what your partners kinks are. I can promise you that you don’t know every single one. It can actually be easier to share that kind of stuff virtually rather than doing it face to face. Don’t underestimate the power of sending nudes and dirty texts too. You can build up the suspense; when you finally see each other, the sexual tension will be so heightened you won’t be able to leave each other alone.
What about people who are single? How do you advise they get through this difficult time?
I’m single too. It’s a horrible thought to be alone during this time. It is hard. Don’t let it get you down, you may feel alone but you are not. We are all going through this together. Take the opportunity to get to know your own body and masturbate. Being able to cum when you are anxious is so great, a huge stress release. Also totally use some toys and do stuff you wouldn’t normally, find out if you like things. You literally have days and days to yourself so go wild! Outside of sex, take the time to get to know yourself and find out who you really are and what you really want. You can also get in touch with your home and make it a place you want to live. Routine is really important too, so take advantage of the spare time and set a foundation for your day to day life. Start creating good habits and breaking bad. Maybe start working out at home, take part in the hobby you have always wanted to pursue. It could be playing guitar or painting. Do it!
Is the adult film community taking any measures in the current climate?
I cannot speak for the community as a whole, but I work on my own content. I have an Only Fans account, which I update exclusive content on so expect to see a lot of me on there!
What are your top 3 lovemaking tips for guys?
Communication is key. A closed mouth does not get fed. If you want her to do something you have to say. How else is she supposed to know you want your dick sucked in the kitchen? In the same way that other parts of a relationship need communication to be the best they can be, so does sex!
Remember, for women it’s the way you make them feel. If you are making them feel desired and wanted, they are going to want you more. You’ll get more sex and you’ll get more of the sex that you want to have. All from just being a good partner! Let her know she’s hot! Don’t keep silent either. I can tell you now no girl wants to ride a man who goes mute. Be as vocal as you feel comfortable being.
Trim your pubes and keep fresh. No girl wants to go down if you haven’t manscaped and washed. It’s common courtesy. Clean your junk.
And for girls?
Also, same as for guys: communicate. If he isn’t going down on you right and you don’t tell him, how can you ever expect to love oral? Speak up and give guidance. Obviously don’t be too harsh but totally let him know! You should love your sex life, so you need to be honest. Also ask him what he likes. When I’m on set and also in my personal life I ask the guy how he wants his dick sucked. What gets him off and what doesn’t? Make sure you are asking your partner these questions, so you know you are satisfying him or her the way they like it.
Equal rights. If you wouldn’t eat it don’t expect him to. If your fingers don’t smell good after touching yourself why would your man want to go down? Keep fresh and use the right products. There’s something called ‘Boric Acid Suppositories’ they balance out your PH levels and some girls are super sensitive. Just put it in when you go to sleep and it helps you smell great and taste great. Asshole and pussy.
When you give a blowjob do not be afraid to get messy. Get upside-down and get spit on your face… don’t be afraid of giving great head. Don’t be concerned about how you look. It’s hot to be involved. This takes some poise, but men love that. Be comfortable in your own body. If you are confident in yourself sex will be so much better!
Who would be your ideal person to be in self-isolation with?
Myself. I want to focus on who I am and do things for me. It’s so important. People are constantly on phones and don’t have the opportunity to unplug and re-centre. This is a shitty situation for us all but take the good from it and help your body reset. Be in the present and enjoy the silence and enjoy being still. Self-isolating can be one of the best things that can happen. I like being with other people, but this has forced me to be alone, which I think long term will be really good for me.
Staying sexy in self-isolation: Tips from an award-winning porn star.
Although this self-isolation and social distancing lark is highly essential and worthwhile, there’s no shame in admitting that it can be lonely, boring and fairly depressing at times. We humans are social creatures! We want to laugh and play and dance and shout with each other!
We want to be intimate, and sexy. Unfortunately, the unwavering intrusion of COVID-19 is doing all it can to stop the former, but we can still take the latter into our own hands.
Award-winning porn star, Honey Gold, would love to offer your readers an assortment of tips and advice in keeping your self-esteem up and your passion ever-flowing in these trying times. From tips on solo-enjoyment to advice regarding the importance of maintaining a good level of mental health – and how feeling sexy can help towards this – this feature will have everything you need to make your own company, the best company.
You can follow Honey Gold on Instagram here @honeygoldxx