Review by Sara Darling
The title alone is peak neurodivergent – I almost didn’t make it past the cover, but I’m so glad I did. I’ve never been formally diagnosed, but for years I’ve had an inkling that I am probably a bit ADD – due to my lack of concentration and high energy levels – and reading this book has left me with even more confirmation – laughing out loud, and feeling weirdly emotional at the same time.
The ridiculously long title is clearly a trap for people like me who lose focus halfway through reading it, but push through and it’s one of the most validating books I’ve ever read. If you have an inkling you might be on the spectrum, this is one for you, as it certainly made me feel like Abigoliah Schamaun and Joe Wells have penned stories about my life!
Both autistic and ADHD comedians, the book is less memoir or TED talk filled with inspirational fluff, it is full of raw and relatable stories; and whether you’re here for the shits or giggles, truth and honesty prevail.
There is not a self-help book, it is after all written by two comedians. Crucially, it is also not too long! Each essay is readable, and chapters like “ADHD or Just American?” had me dying because I’m constantly wondering if my brain is wired differently – then there’s Joe’s “Autistic or Just a Muso?” story, which made me take a second look at all the creative and genius ideas and interests I have, had that people raise an eyebrow at.
The WORK section destroyed me in the best way. Reading about masking, burnout, health struggles and travel nightmares really resonated. The constant side-hustle energy and burnout cycles? And memories of school were way too real.
The pair even touch on some hysterical tales of RELATIONSHIPS, with Joe’s “My Wife, the Criminal” and Abigoliah’s “Sexually Empowered Woman?” which opens up a conversation on how dealing with the opposite sex works when it’s not you who is involved – the messiness laid out with zero shame.
From the smalltalk issues that crop up with SOCIALISING, the pair break down small talk, masking, and the sheer exhaustion hyperfocusing for hours while ghosting texts while navigating a different operating system.
This book refuses the usual clichés. It made me laugh out loud and realise that I do that too! Whether you’re formally diagnosed, self-diagnosed like me, questioning, or just curious, this is the funny, validating, no-bullshit read you need.
It is messy, funny, exhausting, overstimulating and real. Thankfully, chopped up into 24 short essays.There’s dark humour – as to be expected coming from a pair of comedians – the “How are you?” para killed me! I’ve been answering that question like a complete idiot for years – giving actual answers and wondering why people look so uncomfortable. Turns out it’s not a question… mind blown!
Reading about late diagnosis (or in my case, self-diagnosis) hit hard too and there is relief that I’m not actually hyper, rude or incompetent! But it’s not all heavy; there are stories about families which we can all relate to, school assemblies, first jobs and bringing breakfast to a Zoom breakfast meeting which particularly tickled me. As someone who lives in manic bursts of productivity followed by total burnout, I appreciated hearing how this is normal – just a different kind of normal for others!
If you’ve ever felt like everyone else got the instruction manual while you’ve been winging it your whole life, read this. Whether you’re formally diagnosed, self-diagnosed like me, or just curious, it’s funny, educational and real.
I give it a 10/10 – I couldn’t read it all at once, but why don’t you give it a go!
Preorder yours here: https://linktr.ee/ndm_book