2011: The Year of Remakes and Sequels? Part 2: They could be ok?

Now comes the list of movies that look like they could be ok, but let’s just say that I’m not holding my breath.

I put most of the kid’s movies in here because they’ll probably get the job done and entertain the wee ones; the deciding factor is exactly how annoying they will be for the parents and guardians and Super-Cool Aunties like me who will have to watch them along with those kiddies, probably over and over.

The Hangover Part 2
Release Date: 5/26/11 Genre: Comedy
“The lovable foursome of Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug (Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis and Justin Bartha) are back and this time they’re headed to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. What possibly could go wrong?!”

I thought “The Hangover” was totally hilarious. Anytime you have a comedy that good and you decide to go for a sequel it almost always ends badly and with metaphorical tears of disappointment. In order for this movie not to be a let-down it’s going to have to be really, really damn funny. I’m trying to stay positive but most of my optimism is currently locked in the trunk of a car along with some random naked guy.

Happy Feet 2
Release Date: 11/18/11 Genre: Family, Animation
“Warner Bros. gets into the animated sequel game with a follow-up to their 2006 penguin-fest. Elijah Wood and Robin Williams lend their voices in this 3D adventure, which will hope to steal some of Breaking Dawn’s thunder.”
Yay, dancing CG penguins in 3D!! Hey, anything that can take away some of the box office bucks from “Breaking Dawn.”

Puss in Boots
Release Date: 11/4/11 Genre: Family, Animation, Comedy
“A spin-off from the lucrative Shrek franchise tells the tale of Antonio Banderas‘ Puss in Boots before he met up with Shrek and friends. Salma Hayek and Zack Galifianakis co-star.”

Ok, I am seriously tired of all things “Shrek” and the million sequels and specials and crap that ruined a movie I once thought was pretty cute. The only reason this movie isn’t under the “Should Never Have Been Attempted” category is because of Antonio Banderas and the fact that it’s about a kitty. I like kitties.


Cars 2
Release Date: 6/24/11
Genre: Family, Animation
“Kaa-chow! Owen Wilson and Larry the Cable Guy are back as Speed McQueen and Tow-Mater in Pixar’s sequel to their 2006 animated hit. This time, the duo travel to the World Grand Prix and end up in the middle of an international espionage plot.”

The first “Cars” movie was a huge hit and a must-have in a lot of parents DVD collections. I’m guessing that it’s follow up by Pixar is going to be just as big of a success.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Release Date: 5/20/11 Genre: Adventure, Comedy
“Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is back with his swagger, this time in search of the Fountain of Youth. The seas are adventurous and a little crowded with a former love (Penelope Cruz), formidable pirate Captain Blackbeard (Ian McShane), and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) all on board for the fun.”
How will Captain Jack fare without the lovely Keira Knightley and the even lovelier Orlando Bloom? I suppose we will find out if Johnny Depp is man enough to captain his own movie with new players along or if this movie, now the 4th in the series, will end up sinking faster than the Titanic.

Uh, the actual ship Titanic, not the movie obviously.

Kung Fu Panda 2
Release Date: 5/26/11 Genre: Family, Animation, Comedy
Jack Black, fresh off the ill-fated Gulliver’s Travels, will skadoosh right back into audiences’ favor with the latest animated hijinx of everyone’s favorite panda bear. In his latest epic, Po and The Furious Five must travel across China to vanquish a new villain who’s determined to use a secret weapon to conquer their homeland.”

It’s Jack Black as a Panda- how bad could it be?

X-Men: First Class
Release Date: 6/3/11 Genre: Sci-Fi, Action
“Once upon a time, Professor X and Magneto were allies who combined forces to create the Mutant School for Gifted Youngsters. That tale is writ large in this installment, which covers their early friendship, and the tensions that would lead to their eventual rivalry.”
I would really like this movie to be good. It would be a personal victory for me and offer relief after the pain I suffered that was “X-Men: The Last Stand.” I feel like my favorite comic book team has been made into something that just seems so lame, which is grossly unfair given the potential awesomeness within these characters and storylines. “First Class” is supposed to be a fresh, new take with new faces telling the story of some very well-known characters back at their beginnings. Most arch enemies start off as friends.
By the way, you will not be seeing Hugh Jackman or anyone else as Wolverine in this flick so don’t expect it and don’t bitch about it. Wolverine didn’t join up with the X-Men until much later on and long after Magneto was an established villain. You want Wolverine, you’ll have to wait until 2012 and the release of his own movie “The Wolverine,” directed by the currently-nominated-possibly-Oscar-winning Darren Aronofsky (“Black Swan, The Wrestler, Requiem for a Dream”) just like the rest of us!
The Thing
Release Date: 10/14/11 Genre: Sci-Fi, Horror, Action
“In what serves as a prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 sci-fi horror classic, Mary Elizabeth Winstead of Scott Pilgrim fame and Eric Christian Olsen try to outwit a parasite that can mimic anything it touches.”
I love good horror, the problem is that good horror seems to be so hard to find. I’d love for this prequel to a total classic to be good; I’m just not convinced that it will be.  
The Thing Prequel

The Three Musketeers
Release Date: 10/14/11 Genre: Action, Adventure
“Hollywood returns to re-tell the story of Athos, Porthos, and Aramis yet again. This time, Luke Evans, Ray Stevenson and Matthew Macfayden must unite and defeat a beautiful double agent (Milla Jovovich) and her villainous employer from seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war.”

I’m a total sucker for movies about the Three Musketeers, even if we’ve already seen a ton of them. The swords and guns and giant feathers in hats with ugly, sculpted facial hair? Love it. I also love watching Milla Jovovich in movies: she’s super-sexy and usually kicking someone’s ass and I’m tired of seeing her only as Alice and ready for a change. I’m remaining hopeful and putting this one under “Might Be Ok.”

Scream 4
Release Date: 4/15/11 Genre: Horror
“Not much is known yet about the plot, but if original director Wes Craven, screenwriter Kevin Williamson and stars Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and David Arquette are all back for the popular franchise that kick started the horror genre back in the ’90s, than so are we…bring on Mr. Ghostface! We’ve got Sidney Prescott’s back.”
On that same note is this little potential-disaster. But it has the three stars back in it that I care about and I do love me some Wes Craven so I’m going to try to give it a fair shake, cross my finger, and hope for the best.

Continued… Part 3 Remakes or Sequels that should never have been attempted >