Paul Martin

Paul Martin is a professional writer who lives in Kilburn, north London. Paul Martin is deeply disturbed by the amount of neatly trimmed beards he sees these days, that make the wearers look like Matthew Kelly or a young Kenny Loggins. Paul Martin can occasionally be spotted at @PaulFilmDoom

Film Review: Mia Madre

There aren’t many filmmakers working today who could have one of their characters propose the toast “Here’s to the director” and it come off as anything other than an ejaculation of ego – let alone if they themselves just happen to be the actor playing that character.

Maggie Film Review

Film Review: Maggie

Ah, ‘Maggie’ – the brand new blockbuster that sees Arnold Schwarzenegger travel back through time to the grim and rainy Britain of the 1970s, in order to terminate Mrs. Thatcher, the Baroness of Blood, before she’s able to embark on her baleful reign of baby-eating subjugation.

Film Review: San Andreas

The premise of ‘San Andreas’ can be summed up as simply as this: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson vs. a bloody big earthquake. And that’s it.

Film Review: Fast & Furious 7

The ‘Fast & the Furious’ is the movie series that defies all logic. Not just defies it in fact – it slams its butt-cheeks…

American Sniper Film Review

Film Review: American Sniper

An icon of US machismo in his own right, Eastwood is locked into a pronounced slump as director. Like Woody Allen in the early 2000s, he’s cranking out films faster than ever.

Film Review: Unbroken

Based on true-life material and telling a remarkable story of physical and psychological strength during wartime, ‘Unbroken’ had previously been talked about as one of the potential heavyweights of the 2014-15 awards season… that was, before anyone had actually seen the thing.

Film Review: Sex Tape

Tom Jones wanted to blow us all up with his Sex Bomb. Soft Cell wanted us to get all hot under the shin pads…

The Keeper of Lost Causes

Film Review: The Keeper of Lost Causes

Department Q is the basement backwater where detective Carl Mørck (Nikolaj Lie Kaas) finds himself reassigned on his return to the force, following his recovery from serious injuries sustained in a stakeout gone wrong. It’s a crypt of cases that are not so much cold as positively Siberian.

Film Review : Deliver Us From Evil

Film Review: Deliver Us From Evil

The poster for ‘Deliver Us from Evil’ proudly trumpets the film it’s advertising as being ‘Inspired by the actual accounts of NYPD sergeant Ralph Sarchie’ – a significant retreat even from the standard horror movie poster nonsense of ‘Inspired by true events’.

Film Review - Lucy - 2104

Film Review: Lucy

There’s an inherent flaw with fictional depictions of supreme intelligence; namely that the made-up mastermind is only ever able to utter anything as smart as their, in all likelihood, less-than hyper-intelligent creator can come up with.

In God's Pocket

Film Review: God’s Pocket

And if that be the yardstick by which we measure such things then God’s Pocket, the feature directorial debut of silver-haired Mad Men actor John Slattery, smells something very much like the 36 inches which make up the yard.

Film Review: Mood Indigo

Ah, Gondry! Michel, ma belle. Like a reanimated ghoul risen from the cold, dead earth, here he is – looking as singularly scruffy and angularly awkward as ever.

how to train your dragon 2 film review

Film Review: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Picking up five years on from where the first film left off, How to Train Your Dragon 2 reunites us with Hiccup (voiced once again by the quavering tones of Jay Baruchel), who in the time since we’ve been away has transformed from nerdy teen to cloud-surfing brainbox; a proto-steampunk inventor who’s built himself a wingsuit and a prosthetic leg with changeable appendages (it’s kind of like a Swiss Army Knife mated with Rose McGowan’s gun-leg from Planet Terror).